Oy, Not Hi?

A breezing wind from the sea chilled my hot blooded body this morning. Was it always this chilly? Or is it just because I turned off the heater? Wait a second...

Oh did I say a breezing wind from the sea? Ha! I wasn't trying to brag but oh well... I live in a beach house two seconds away from the beach with a hot girlfriend and a dead-as job. I also tend to do a lot of stand up comedy. Oh, and I also lie a lot. An awful lot.

True thing is I live on a way-too-much-expensive-for-one-and-a-third-yao-mings-square room in a university accommodation. But heck, I got free electricity and food! We got this meal card that has $600 in it to buy food every single time in the cafeteria! Funny thing is I was also asked for a $600 upfront money in start of this session. Wait, what?

So aside from the fact that I had to pay food even though I thought I didn't need to, I live close to the beach called the, "Fairy Meadow Beach". On occasions there are pixies and dwarfs running around. I know! I thought that they didn't exist as well, but I saw them with my own eyes! One time I saw a dwarf (I don't know what kind of dwarf it was, it was about 160 so it was pretty tall for a dwarf... but hey, he has a beard!) and he yelled, "Hey you! If you like snakes come follow me for some good fun! If you know what I mean..." and disappeared into the forest next to the beach. I politely declined because I need to go to my friend's barbecue party and I hate to miss it just because I went to Narnia. After a research I found out that the forest next to the beach was called Puckey's Estate, and scarily enough, it has many horrible stories on how innocent people who walked into the place was murdered by a psycho. God I hope that dwarf is safe!

Anyways now I have to run off to buy my friends a beer because I owe people an awful lot and whenever I got my paycheck I swear it all disappear into thin air about a day after. I don't really like to spend my money though. Except if it's for survival. And by survival I mean survival mode on expensive video games.

And oh, yeah. I live in Australia. Yes, yes, I am living the world upside down.