Morning flu, afternoon flu, midnight flu

WHOA will you look at that. I have almost not updated my blog for a week......or at least I think so. But hey, you gotta admit it is pretty good, right? What? I can do better? kthx.

How are you readers feeling at the moment? If you, out of by any crazy chances in the world lives in Wollongong right now, then I share your pain. I, too, am a victim of the plague. The plague........of the flu.

DUN DUN DUUUN

Now I don't know why I keep putting reaction faces with little kids on it. Or why do I think I have a certain fascination for little kids. Or why I'm putting myself in a position where I think I adore little kids while my consciousness  does not. Or why am I even talking even though the FBI can track away my location and arrest me for suspicious activities regarding minors. Or why do I keep on trying to put out the awkward truth about me and li- right I'll stop there.

But yeah the Gong is currently under an extremely chilly weather, or at least I think so. And it has caused me and others around me to sneeze in an uncomfortably exquisite yet undelightful way. I'll let it up to your imagination to figure out how. But since it got to me and my household it has been really, really hard (that's what she said!) and I almost can't do anything at all to cure myself, let alone trying to cure my cats.

Right, no little kids over here.

Other than that extremely attractive post about flu and the imagery of whatever you have in mind for it, there has been nothing new and exciting happening in my life, unsurprisingly. Oh, wait. One of the girls from The Shire is in my friend's class. And no, she's not one of the tanned beauticians. Sadly. I really wanted to see how fake they are.

Hope you guys are doing well and if you have any sort of weird ways to cure the flu... let me know?

Now this is quick!

Hello! Bueno! Bonjour! Halo! Haro!

Yes, I've learned all those things in the span of one night. Aren't I amazing? No? Really? Okay.

But hey, there's nothing wrong in updating your blog with non-useful things. It keeps me on the grade. So thanks for viewing my blog, guys. But for anyone who accidentally passed through this blog while looking for musical instruments bargain or even traveling advices, I say thank you very much. Even if you just came for about 3 seconds and then you immediately close it, it still counts as a view. So yeah, thanks, I guess.

Moving on, I have a new wallpaper! Which I say it is way better than the old one, which I got from a friend on facebook, which clearly explains the mad photography skills. For those of you that haven't seen it, here you go. Just make sure you have your sunglasses on or maybe have an eye protector or something. It is just amazing.

Mad.

Hahaha (<--awkward blog laugh) I'm joking. It is actually a beautiful picture that my friend took from Mt. Keira, the mountain in Wollongong, and it actually has a view on all of the city! Yeah I know, pretty big city hey.

Anyways I have updated my blog! ...which I'm not quite sure whether I will continue on writing tomorrow or the next day or the next day or not. Fingers crossed, ladies and gentlemen. Fingers crossed.

P.s.: I'm not sure if you guys have been aware of this but I use sarcasm an awful lot. If you guys don't see me as being sarcastic then it would just seem as if I'm being cocky. I got it from my parents. But I don't think they were being sarcastic.

P.p.s.: There are six sarcastic sentences that Odi has wrote on this entry! Can you find all of them?

Greetings! Or should I say...

Ohai.

....And I'm done. No, seriously, I don't have anything else to say. Which is probably quite weird due to the fact that I have been on hiatus for about, what, 3 months? Dear god, you guys must be thinking that I'm taking a pregnancy leave! Which is actually, quite useful, and a bit of a rollercoaster ride at that. You have sex, which is always good, not that I have engaged in one <foreveralone.jpeg> and after 9 months of people treating you like a queen you get to be paid while having a break from your job just to take care of your little snot.

"I get paid from my work just to take care of this...thing? Sweet!" -  A Loving Mother

I'm joking, I sounded like one of those anti-feminists (they are a douche! <suckup.jpeg>) but I'm not, really. It must be hard to raise a human being. Not to mention having an alien body inside of you for 9 months! Just make sure that it's not a Xenomorph!

But yes, aside from that little sidetrack, I will try my best to keep updating this lousy one of a kind blog periodically. And when I said one of a kind, I'm not joking. It is one of a kind. In a bad sense of way.

I hope that whoever you are, might you be a curious 13 year old lost in the web of the inter while looking for porn or might you be a 54 year old Russian mafia trying to clean slate evidences of a murder that your family committed, I pray that you all are in a content state of mind.

Ciao!

P.s.: I think I need to change that wallpaper in the background since I feel like I need a shower after seeing that.

I actually know him!

Being one of the most vulnerably awkward person on this planet, I have yet to become a normal human being when faced with the public human society. But to think that someone else is more awkward or is equally awkward as I am my hideously tangled and wet organ called (No, stop thinking about that organ. And besides I'm a male. Or I'm pretty sure the last time I checked I am) brain could not compute with that simple fact. It's like a vampire trying to seduce another vampire who's also trying to seduce the other vampire so they keep on throwing lame seductive jokes until their bloody brains blew up.

Get it? Bloody?

Lame jokes aside, all I'm saying is this: It. Never. Ends. Right!

From that vastly brilliant and creative parable I've just spent 52 hours to made I'm pretty sure you and hopefully with all the rest of normal human beings would understand that these encounters are not in the least, favorable. While I'm pretty sure these would be a funny story to be recalled on the latter days, I bet on my yet to-be-paid-in-full mobile phone that I would still feel uncomfortably embarrassed during the recounting.

So what is this particular event that hath frustrated me so much that I need to write a blog post about it, you say? Well, three days ago I was walking past my university corridors when I passed a certain person who is friends with a friend of mine. We've studied together for an exam that was coming up back then, and that's why I remembered her looks, because if I met a person and I haven't done something special with them, then they should damn well look like some actor or actress. Or like that fat kid on the roller coaster.

Well she's not the fat kid on the roller coaster... But hey, she's a fat kid!

I'm joking, I love all kinds of people. Especially kids. More especially the ones in the back of my ice cream truck.

But yeah, when I passed that corridor I saw her walking towards to where I was from, and she was staring at me. Being raised in a family that would scream at you for doing interpretative dance in front of family relatives, I said hi to her nervously out of politeness and to avoid being caught in an awkward situation. She didn't respond but two seconds later I could hear her 'whispering' to her friends, "I actually know him!" which I'm pretty sure was followed by how my unshaven facial hair looked extremely sexy that day.

I was really surprised at how a person can be so unintentionally upfront. Was she doing the fail whisper on purpose? Or did she have a certain vocal disorder that made her had to whisper in an audibly heard volume? And then all of a sudden the mind blowing question popped into my head: Was she also awkward when we passed? By then I recalled the fact that she did stared at me. And as far as I know, people stare because they are either:

a) A person who actually knows the other person;

b) A bunch of nosy people who likes to stick in their nose in other people's business, or;

c) A bloody psycho.

And I sincerely prayed every single moment after I made this brilliant hypotheses that she is not a bloody psycho. But then the more I thought about it the more I got confused of that person. In the end I felt like I don't want to think about it ever again and to postpone this blog post, but hey, reality's always a major pain in the arse.

I saw her again today, on the same corridor, walking to the same direction while she was also walking to the same direction as three days ago. The only exception was that she wasn't with her friends today. And no, I'm pretty sure they weren't traumatized by my sexy unshaven facial hair. I noticed her at once when I turned around the corner, and I was pretty sure she did too. My awkward mind was computing an exceptionally out-of-this-world computation that I'm pretty sure even math experts couldn't solve. We stared a bit and when I decided to say hello again out of politeness, I grabbed my phone from my pocket and tried to ignore her. And I tell you what:

IT BLOODY DAMN FEELS GOOD!

I don't know if it was because of me seemingly having my payback or if it was just a winning moment in place of the awkward moment I almost got. I feel a little bad, but hey, should've thought about that before you whispered in a high volumed voice, right?

I don't know, do you guys have a certain awkward moment that you just want to write down a whole 750 word blog post just for it? Cause I hell do.

Expensive Three-Dimensional Harbour of Shells

We now live in an era that loves to keep its denizens up to date. Those who don't follow the constant evolution of technology were usually cast out from society, like how a kid would cry every single time he got back from school because he doesn't have an Xbox like his friends. And no, this is not coming from my past experiences...

Excuse me while I break down and listen to sad violin songs on the corner of my room.

Now, following the constant rapid change of what the society think is 'in', I have decided to indulge myself into the amazing epic motion picture The Avengers, proudly watched in 3D (in which, sadly for my wallet, paid $16.50 - and it was just for the ticket.) I watched the movie in a city called Shellharbour that is immeasurably far and hard to reach from where I live. By immeasurably far I mean 22.2kms. And by hard to reach I mean "There's a train station just next to the cinema why are you doing this to yourself what are you going to do with your future" kind of hard to reach.

As soon as my friends and I got into the cinema, we went our separate ways to our assigned tasks- I was sent into the deception filled world of snack registers. I was actually bamboozled by one of its workers to buy a mammoth-sized Coke. I kid you not, it was really a Bugs Bunny trying to deceive Elmer J. Fudd moment. One moment I clearly told her I didn't want any coke, that I just want a small popcorn and a bottle of water. Probably with a slight accent which any good cashier who I'm pretty sure serves tourists from Amuhrica almost every single day would understand. And then, three seconds later I'm paying $10 for something that I couldn't even drink half of. I mean, seriously? Is that the power of sales?!

You might not notice this but thanks for cleaning our stock!

After that life-changing dealmeal I got I seriously couldn't stop and concentrate on the movie. My mind kept wandering off to the coke, wondering when, how, and if I should drink it. If I wasn't eating popcorn then it wouldn't be such a dilemma, but then you can't sit down in a theater for about two hours not eating any piece of popcorn, right? Right? Guys? Hello?

In summary The Avengers was good and epic. Shellharbour 3D Cinema wasn't, though their coke undeniably was.

Give Me Those Anzac Pills!

Sydney is a big city. No- wait, it's a HUGE city. And even huge can't express how enormous it is! It is gigantic. It's a whale of a city. Heck, I think it is two whales of a city! You know, I might just keep putting in more synonyms so that I can look kind of professional in writing (yeah write that down you students, that's a good essay trick right there).

Now back to the main topic.

If you've ever been to Sydney then you would know that there's a bridge that Oprah had climbed (which sadly after knowing that she can actually did it I wasn't excited to climb it up anymore). That bridge is called (yeah, you tourists are right!) the Harbour Bridge. Is it the only bridge in Sydney? No! Does the other bridge as good looking as the Harbour Bridge? Not exactly! But, what if I tell you tourists that there's a bridge that's related to a special day which is on the 25th of April? And it has a name!

You should see the look on your face when I told you that.

Ladies and Gentlemen, that bridge is called: The Anzac Bridge. Fun fact: The one thing that came up to me when I heard this name, was medicine pills. Sleeping pills, common cold pills, paracetamol pills, and even those pills-that-made-you-smart-when-you-drink-them-pills-that-bogans-have-invented-to-turn-you-into-one-of-them pills. I think that something is actually wrong with me, considering no other person had the same image as I do whenever I yelled out Anzac in public and asked what image was on their mind.

After a little bit of browsing I found out that ANZAC stood for "The Australian and New Zealand Army Corps", which really makes more sense to me because I can't imagine what kind of medicine company has that huge amount of money and popularity that they actually made a bridge in central district Sydney to commemorate themselves. Although, there is a bridge that was almost named after Chuck Norris.

Moving back to ANZAC, the event is celebrated every 25th of April, usually starting with a Dawn Service in public parks followed by a gambling game that is banned except on ANZAC Day, and to every responsible adult it's basically alcohol all day long. Yep, that's how they pay their respect to their heroes here in Australia. They drink. An awful lot.

I've spent my day laughing in a local pub looking at billionaires (or maybe at least aspiring ones) spending their money on that 50-50 chance of winning game, but one lucky bastard actually won $400! I peeked into my wallet and tried to grab a $20, hoping to get some of that guy's luck but I soon remembered that I live on a uni budget and that Vegemite does not taste good by itself without the toast bread...

And so now I need to get a job. Oh well, there's always Anzac Day next year!

Oy, Not Hi?

A breezing wind from the sea chilled my hot blooded body this morning. Was it always this chilly? Or is it just because I turned off the heater? Wait a second...

Oh did I say a breezing wind from the sea? Ha! I wasn't trying to brag but oh well... I live in a beach house two seconds away from the beach with a hot girlfriend and a dead-as job. I also tend to do a lot of stand up comedy. Oh, and I also lie a lot. An awful lot.

True thing is I live on a way-too-much-expensive-for-one-and-a-third-yao-mings-square room in a university accommodation. But heck, I got free electricity and food! We got this meal card that has $600 in it to buy food every single time in the cafeteria! Funny thing is I was also asked for a $600 upfront money in start of this session. Wait, what?

So aside from the fact that I had to pay food even though I thought I didn't need to, I live close to the beach called the, "Fairy Meadow Beach". On occasions there are pixies and dwarfs running around. I know! I thought that they didn't exist as well, but I saw them with my own eyes! One time I saw a dwarf (I don't know what kind of dwarf it was, it was about 160 so it was pretty tall for a dwarf... but hey, he has a beard!) and he yelled, "Hey you! If you like snakes come follow me for some good fun! If you know what I mean..." and disappeared into the forest next to the beach. I politely declined because I need to go to my friend's barbecue party and I hate to miss it just because I went to Narnia. After a research I found out that the forest next to the beach was called Puckey's Estate, and scarily enough, it has many horrible stories on how innocent people who walked into the place was murdered by a psycho. God I hope that dwarf is safe!

Anyways now I have to run off to buy my friends a beer because I owe people an awful lot and whenever I got my paycheck I swear it all disappear into thin air about a day after. I don't really like to spend my money though. Except if it's for survival. And by survival I mean survival mode on expensive video games.

And oh, yeah. I live in Australia. Yes, yes, I am living the world upside down.